I had the strongest feelings which I called love for my ex boyfriend, then all of a sudden I started having even stronger feelings for a GIRL!!! I've never thought of myself as a lesbian or bi sexual, she's the only girl I've been sexually attracted to and now I've broken up with my boyfriend just to be with her. I won't tell my parents and I really want to be with her.

Am I really bi even though she's the only girl I've liked/loved? And should I tell my parents?

17 year-old woman from U.S.A.

You are the only person who can know if you are bisexual. Being bisexual is defined as being sexually attracted to both men and women. Being bisexual at present is doubly difficult, you are often rejected by both the heterosexual and homosexual communities because you are seen as just sitting on the fence and not making a decision. While in a relationship the fear that you will be lost to a person of the other sex is greater because it means you are reverting to your "real" sexuality. Also bisexuals are supposed to be able to "hide" in either community.

There is an increasingly visible separate bisexual community as well as a number of support groups specifically for bisexuals.

Being a bisexual doesn't mean that you have to have sex with both men and women. It is up to you to choose to what extent you follow your sexuality.

Do you have any concerns that you may be a lesbian?? You are the only one who can know if you are a lesbian. A lesbian is defined as a woman who is sexually attracted towards other women. Being lesbian can also be defined as having emotional attraction toward women.

If you think about other women when you masturbate or have sex then you could be a lesbian. Admitting to yourself that you are a lesbian is called Coming Out. Being a lesbian doesn't mean that you have to have sex with women.

It is up to you to choose to what extent you follow your sexuality.

You're are the only person that can decide to tell your parents, as you know them better than anyone and can judge how they will react. Since this is your first affair and considering you are so young, take some time to get used to your own sexuality before spreading the news. If you are looking for ways to judge how your parents will react perhaps you can 'test the water' so to speak by watching lesbian related shows on TV with them, or leave some lesbian related newspaper articles around. This may help break the ice as well should they want to carry the conversation further.

Regards,

Kulander.