Girlfriend gets no pleasure from sex
QUESTION:
Jeremy, 18-year-old manI have been with my 18-year-old girlfriend for over a year and a half. We were both virgins before we met and now we are very sexually active. The problem is that she has told me when we have sex she feels little if any pleasure (I am 7 inches so I'm sure that's not it, but I don't know). I was wondering if it was something I was doing wrong (I premature ejaculate and only last about 3-6 minutes), although I find it kind of funny that she doesn't feel anything at all. I have asked her before if she could try to flex her vaginal muscles but she doesn't quite understand me and doesn't know how. I believe it would help her achieve some feeling, and if you could provide some information on how she could learn, that would be helpful. Also, if you could help me with my problem of premature ejaculation that also might help her achieve pleasure.
ANSWER:
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist
Let me first clear up a couple misconceptions. A woman's pleasure during intercourse typically has little to do with the length of a penis (okay, there are exceptions), and a seven inch erection is longer than average. I don't know if you're worried you are too short, or bragging that you are so long.
Being able to thrust for 3 to 6 minutes is not premature ejaculation. The average male of 18, with steady thrusting, will last 2 to 3 minutes. You are not a premature ejaculator, plus if your partner is not feeling anything within the first three minutes, lasting 30 minutes will not make any difference (other than by then she might be feeling sore).
Nothing was said about your girlfriend's arousal. If she was not sexually excited, intercourse is not likely to excite her. It should also be remembered that up to 65% of all orgasmic women are unable to reach orgasm during intercourse. I'd want to know how much time is spent in foreplay. Do you appreciate the importance of a woman's clitoris? Does this young woman respond to clitoral stimulation? Are you at all concerned with her orgasm, or simply that she cannot feel you inside?
There is a lot more to making love than having intercourse. Before trying to teach you how to last longer, I would want to teach you how to make love.
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., Sexologist & Adult Sexuality Educator Author of Male Sexual Endurance: A Man's Book About Lasting Longer
http://oralcaress.com and http://sex-and-aging.info
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit: http://www.oralcaress.com/