Enemas and orgasms
QUESTION:
Alicia, 17-year-old womanI am a 17 year-old high school student in California and I love to go to the gym and I'm really into keeping fit. My older sister is the same and sometimes I go to the gym with her and her friends.
I recently met a 22 year-old female through my older sister. We started going to the gym together and after a while and she told me that she takes an enema occasionally to help clean out her system. I didn't really think too much about it until one day, she asked me if I would come over and hang out with her. I went and we were having a good time in her swimming pool when she took off her bathing suit. She had a fenced in yard and no one else was going to be home for the day, so I thought she probably did this often. I thought it was funny and took mine off and threw it aside too.
After our swim, we went inside for a snack and she very bluntly asked me if I had ever taken an enema. I said no, and she said I should come to her room and help her because she was going to do one and she could use my help. I was curious, so I said ok and followed her upstairs. She got out some 'equipment' and filled a bag and handed it to me and asked me if I would insert the tube into her anus for her. I felt really weird, but she is a good friend, so I did it. She told me what to do and after a minute or so, she started masturbating and she made herself orgasm very intensely. She also asked me if I would do some of the masturbation for her so she could enjoy it more. I did whatever she told me to because I felt kind of weird, but I didn't feel threatened or anything. She reached orgasm at least five times in less that two minutes.
So, I would like to know if this is a really weird thing for two friends to do or is it ok? I consider myself a heterosexual and I know that she is a heterosexual as well, but I don't know if this changes anything. She claims that she just likes the way it feels when someone is helping her. Also, do people often use enemas to heighten sexual arousal?
ANSWER:
Silicon Valley Relationship and Sexuality Center,
Dear Alicia,
Most people don't know that there is a large underground network of people who find enemas erotic, and who yearn for a sexual partner who shares their interest. Check out http://www.bethtyler.com for more material on this. Those in Beth's "Inner Sanctum" (pay site) will find a matchmaking service.
Enema erotica is often practiced by those who discovered early that the anus has almost as many nerve endings as the tip of the penis or the clitoris, and that sexual stimulation is enhanced when the rectum is full. Enemas are also considered by some psychologists to be highly symbolic of pregnancy. Note the similarity of penetration, depositing of fluid, increased abdominal volume, possibly some abdominal cramping (labor pains) and expulsion of the enema fluid which is doubly symbolic of both the "waters breaking" and delivery.
Experienced sex therapists would classify what you described as "sex play" and "sexual experimentation." Enemas are not sex play of choice of lesbians, and are independent of gender. That is, one's preference to include enemas has no bearing on his or her sexual gender identity.
In the same sense that some women are acutely aware of the internal sensation of orgasm that is different when they have nothing "up them" (nothing intravaginal) than when they do (a penis or a dildo to squeeze against internally), others report that their orgasm is significantly stronger when their rectum is full, and I suspect that it has to do with subtle pressure on the g-spot. And some report extraordinarily greater orgasms if they expel the enema fluid simultaneously with orgasm contractions.
So is it weird? No, it is a learned preference. Please think of the experience as a safe sex event that provided you with behavioral information for you to assess and evaluate. It speaks to your sexual flexibility and the extent to which you escaped societally-induced anachronistic homophobia. If you repeat the experience it will likely either become a "been there, done that, so what" event or an eye-opening "Holy Cow, I never knew I had this additional erogenous zone (and boy oh boy am I glad I found it!)."
Sexdoc
This question has been answered by Dr. William Fitzgerald, a.k.a. Sexdoc. He is a bona fide sex therapist. He is one of the sex therapists at the Silicon Valley Relationship and Sexuality Center, in Santa Clara, California. For more of Dr. Fitzgerald’s work, visitors can check out Ask the Sex Doc, his website devoted to answering questions about sex therapy, sexuality, and relationships.For more information visit: http://www.sexdoc.com/