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September 23, 2014 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Where is it, exactly?

Question:

Okay, so experts are forever telling us women that the way to experience orgasm is with clitoral stimulation. Fair enough-but where is it? I've seen diagrams but they don't help. I've had a feel around but just end up feeling stupid looking for it. Is there any special way to find it, or for my boyfriend to find it? There must be at least one technique that allows for optimum stimulation.

Stonerose (18 year-old woman)

Answer:

Hopefully by now you have found your clitoris, but if not, let me tell you the two easy was to find it... one down and one up. If you run a finger down over your pubic bone, you will feel the peak of the V-shaped groove where your larger (outer) genital lips join. When you put your finger right there at the top, that finger is on your clitoral shaft (covered by your clitoral hood). If you then slide your finger down that half inch or so, you will feel it end. That is the location of the most sensitive part of your clitoris... the glans or head. You might have to drop off the end of that ridge and then curl your finger back to touch the glans if it is completely covered by the hood.

The other way to find your clitoris is to start at your vaginal opening and run your finger up between your smaller (inner) lips. These smaller lips will come together at the glans. It would help also if you used a hand mirror and a bright light and, while laying on your back, visually explored your genital area. If you have seen the diagrams, you should know what you are looking for... and where.

You can also locate your clitoris in a less direct way, by putting your flat fingers over the top of your genitals (as you lay on your back) and rubbing back and forth. This indirect stimulation should be felt in your clitoris. Remember, however, that clitorises come in different sizes and different degrees of sensitivity.

You will need to learn what kind of stimulation works best for you, but be patient, for it takes some women longer to become orgasmic than others. Many women have learned to orgasm first with self-stimulation and then, having gained this knowledge, have helped their partners understand what works best.

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

For more information visit the site or compact information page on QueenDom.

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