Unhappy Life
QUESTION:
Sunshine, 57-year-old womanI'm white, never married, and childless (both by choice). I'm a retired teacher who still teaches part-time. I'm in a relationship, but it's not a satisfying one.
I know I'm hard to be around in private because of my state of mind, although no one but my significant other sees me like that. I don't feel like I can live in the world anymore because of all the horrible cruelty that goes on. I know people say that there are good people too, but the good is far outweighed by the bad. That's just the truth.
I don't know what my question is. I'm just feeling so desperately unhappy.
ANSWER:
Bob Rich, Ph.D.
Dear Sunshine,
Read two books: "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, and "The Rugmaker of Mazar-e-Sharif" by Najaf Mazari.
My guess is that there is nothing wrong with you, except for loss of meaning. And that is not your malady, but a consequence of living in a crazy, meaningless culture. This is Viktor's message. He found that having meaning and purpose allows people to survive the worst hell. Without it, people can be miserable in what from the outside may seem like heaven.
Najaf was able to tell his life story of serial hell with full acceptance, gently laughing at himself and getting the reader to laugh with him.
John Kennedy said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." Let's extend this. Ask not what life should give you, but what you can give to others. As a teacher, you have skills and experience to influence young people. Perhaps you can seek meaning by doing a brainstorm on how you can use your talents in making the world a better place for them.
If you accept my suggestions, make sure you have fun doing it.
Bob
This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.For more information visit: http://anxietyanddepression-help.com