Interfering ex wife
QUESTION:
Srcm35, 37-year-old womanI recently reconnected with a grade school ex. I've been a widow for 2 years now and having him in my life has been the best thing for me and my 2 children. His family and I get along great. He is married with kids but has been separated for more than a year. And now she wants him back. His family says she does this whenever he finds someone new. He says he wants to give it a shot but he loves me and doesn't want to end our relationship. His mother and older brother keep asking me not to leave him because he's never been happier. He doesn't believe she is genuine because she has a boyfriend. She just doesn't want to see him with another woman.
My question is how should I handle this? I am very much in love with him and I think he loves me as well. Should I continue our friendship to see how this plays out or end it completely?
ANSWER:
Bob Rich, Ph.D.
My dear, I don't think you need advice. You know what your heart is telling you. You need encouragement; to stick in there and do what you know is right.
You have his love, that of his mother and brother. They know the situation, and understand what's happening. My question is, why doesn't your gentleman friend understand? How come his ex is able to fool him every time?
You also have a support group: his mother and brother can advise him, help him to be strong in doing what he knows is the right thing. Your job is to make him feel great in your company. Read the following, especially the last part, and apply it to your relationship. Even if he weakens and lapses into old habits, you can keep your dignity, and the knowledge that his ex's theatricals will soon result in what had happened on previous occasions. He split with her before, several times. Doing more of the same guarantees the same outcome.
Good luck,
Bob
This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.For more information visit: http://anxietyanddepression-help.com