Bored with the same-old-same-old bedroom antics? Does the thought of a giant fudge sundae arouse more desire in you than the prospect of making love? Here are a few tips that are guaranteed to spice things up in the boudoir.
- Talking During Sex:
Introducing a little playful conversation in the bedroom has been known to shake more that a few couples out of their lovemaking doldrums. It is difficult to establish any specific guidelines as to what kind of talk is appropriate, however, since certain words or phrases that tickle your fancy, may induce nausea in your partner. Appropriate content and timing are essential. For example, asking your partner playfully when they intend to get rid of their lovehandles as they reach orgasm will likely kill the mood. Talking in bed can be tricky and is not an anything goes situation. Women are on a more solid ground than men, though. Men, being less verbal, tend to be less choosy when it comes to carnal talk and will appreciate even the most primitive vocalization attempts.
- Food and Foreplay:
Experts will tell you food and sex share many physiological effects on our brain chemistry. Employing all of our senses, a little food-play can go a long way in the bedroom. Be it chocolate, strawberries or whip cream… the only limitations are those imposed by your imagination and taste buds. Many of us will recall the infamous food scene from the film 91/2 Weeks, and if in need of inspiration, using that scene as a guideline is probably not a bad idea. On the other hand, using the food fight scene from the movie Animal House may not have the desired effe
- General Foreplay:
A common sexual complaint voiced primarily by women is their partner’s unwillingness or inability to engage in extended foreplay. There are no fast and hard rules as to just how much foreplay is enough…as the saying goes, “different strokes for different folks”. Still it is safe to assume that anything under fifteen seconds will likely leave most ladies unsatisfied and unimpressed. It should also be noted that, much to the chagrin of many men, watching sports together will rarely qualify as foreplay. Similarly, handshakes and informal greetings like, “how’s it going” usually don’t count.
- Bridge Anyone?:
Introducing additional partners into a romantic or sexual relationship can certainly inject an exciting new dynamic to the proceedings when both partners are into it but is not suited to everyone’s tastes or morality. It is extremely important that you and your partner be of the same mindset before engaging this idea. If the idea intrigues you but you are uncertain or fearful of how you partner will respond, try broaching the subject in an offhand or hypothetical way, for example; “Hey Hon, I read this article on swingers in the paper today. What do you think about that sort of thing?” If your question is met with a cold icy stare reminiscent of Hannibal Lector, it is recommended that you drop the subject immediately. Seriously, though, swinging and threesomes require walking on a very, very thin ice, and very few people can handle the emotional hurdles of sharing a partner (many who have tried now stand corrected).
- Sex Toys:
Like the name implies, these adult products often inspire a good measure of fun and playfulness, qualities often missing from long-term romantic liaisons. Interested parties should perform thorough research on the manufacturer of any toys they purchase to ensure safety and hygiene standards are adequate. Caution: some of these things may cause uncontrollable laughter when seen in action, so those who can’t cope with humor in bed are advised to use their imagination before they make the purchase.
- Consult the experts:
There is a great deal of practical scientific advice on sexuality available from qualified sex therapists and sex manuals. Do not be shy about using these resources if you feel the need. There is no shame in using knowledge gained by others, though you might want to resist the urge to consult the manual or place an emergency call to your therapist while actually engaged in amorous activity. Relying on crib notes is also a definite no-no.