{"id":3368,"date":"2016-11-18T09:24:35","date_gmt":"2016-11-18T14:24:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/queendomblog.wordpress.com\/?p=3368"},"modified":"2016-11-18T09:24:35","modified_gmt":"2016-11-18T14:24:35","slug":"optimism-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.queendom.com\/blog\/?p=3368","title":{"rendered":"Optimism advice from an optimistic pessimist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I don’t think I’ve ever been a silver-lining kind of person, even as a child. You know how kids always have that “pie-in-the-sky, everything-is-awesome” view of the world? That wasn’t me at all. I was the Chicken Little, the doomsayer. I was the “OMG-we’re-going-to-get-in-trouble\/we’re-all-gonna-die” kid. Try as might, I’m not a very good optimist<\/a>. I am a highly skilled, ninja-level pessimist, although I reluctantly accept this dubious honor. I know that there are many benefits to having a positive state of mind, but I just can’t bridge that gap\u2026and maybe that’s okay. If you can’t be a Pollyanna, aim for “optimistic pessimist.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As an expert with an OP degree (Dr. Optimistic Pessimist, if you will), here’s my professional advice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try to find the good in everyone. Sometimes, people will show you their not so appealing side because they’re trying to protect themselves; after all, being ourselves requires a certain degree of comfort with vulnerability, and not everyone is comfortable with<\/em> this.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don’t tolerate toxic people in your life. If you offer nothing but good will, honesty, respect, and kindness and the other person doesn’t reciprocate\u2014and even takes advantage of your good nature\u2014it’s time to cut your losses a move on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every struggle you go through offers a lesson…even if that lesson is “don’t EVER do that stupid thing again.” In every bad situation is the potential to grow tougher and wiser.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trying to find the positive in a really tough situation is nearly impossible when you’re in the middle of it. It’s like the people who tell you, “There are other fish in the sea!” or “You’ll get over it!” after you get dumped. No matter how many well-intentioned platitudes they may offer, it just won’t sink in when you’re feeling down. Allow yourself to feel your pain. Grieving is a process that can’t be rushed, no matter what anyone tells you.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"image-2\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When times are tough seek out social support, whether it’s a friend, an online community, a pet, a pastor, or a therapist. Help will always be there for those who have the courage to seek it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can’t depend on others to put you together when you feel broken. I mean, you can lean on other people’s strength but you can’t use it to prop up you up forever. Like a knife, resilience is developed by facing those grinding experiences head-on. Even if a challenging experience breaks you, you will bounce back\u2014and you will use it to build yourself up stronger when the next storm hits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’ve hit rock bottom, acknowledge that the only place left to go is up. Life won’t always be this tough. Don’t give up!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s actually okay, if not better, to throw in the towel occasionally, if only to take a break from the situation. When your mind is obsessively focused on a problem, you don’t leave yourself much thinking room to come up with a solution. Stepping away from a situation for a little while can offer clarity. Plus, there’s something cathartic and freeing about giving up and letting the weight of an issue just slide away. The best thing to do when you don’t know what to do is to do nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prepare for your worst-case scenario but hope for the best.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, it’s wiser to approach situations with a neutral mindset rather than setting expectations. While it’s natural to hope for the best, the higher our expectations, the harder the disappointment when reality doesn’t align. This isn’t about adopting a defeatist perspective\u2014it’s about embracing a realistic and balanced outlook that allows for both hope and adaptability.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"image-3\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n


Insightfully yours,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Queen D<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being positve all the time isn’t easy\u2014in fact, it’s pretty much impossible. Fortunately, you don’t have to be a smiley-face sticker in human form. It’s about balance, not bliss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6759,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-development"],"yoast_head":"\nOptimism advice from an optimistic pessimist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Finding it hard to fake positivity? You don't have to. 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