Not you, which is why you clicked on this blog.

What is this “self-awareness“ I speak of?

In simple terms, self-awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively. It’s like holding up a mirror to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and saying, “Oh, so that’s why I do that!” It’s about understanding your strengths and weaknesses, recognizing your emotions, and knowing how your wods and actions impact others.

There are two main types of self-awareness:

• Internal self-awareness: This involves understanding your own inner world—your values, passions, goals, and reactions. It’s the awareness of how you think and feel and why you do the things you do.
• External self-awareness: This is all about understanding how others perceive you. Are you the office hero who brings doughnuts on Fridays, or are you that person who always takes the last one—or worse, the one who takes a piece of every doughnut because you just want a taste and you think it’s helping you save on calories? (If it’s the latter, please stop doing that!)

The magic happens when you balance both internal and external self-awareness. When you know yourself and understand how others see you, you can navigate life with more confidence and clarity.

Why the heck does self-awareness matter?

Here’s why it’s totally worth the effort to develop your self-awareness:

• It will help you make better decisions. When you know your values and priorities, making decisions becomes easier. You’re less likely to be swayed by external pressures and more likely to choose what’s right for you.
• It will improve your relationships. Understanding how your actions affect others can help you communicate more effectively and build stronger connections.
• It will help you grow as a person—not in height, obviously, but in wisdom. Self-awareness is the first step to self-improvement. You can’t change if you don’t know what needs to change, right? Knowing your strengths and areas for improvement is key to personal development.
• It will boost your emotional intelligence. When you’re aware of your emotions, you’re better equipped to manage them. This means fewer meltdowns and more calm, collected responses—especially in stressful situations.

So how is this mighty self-awareness developed?

Here are some practical tips to get you started:

1. Take a good, hard look in the mirror.

I’m talking about an internal mirror here, but if you’re in front of an actual mirror right now, go ahead and get that food out of your teeth—it’s been there since lunch. Starting tomorrow, at the end of each day, take a moment to write about what went well, what didn’t, and how you felt. Over time, you’ll begin to notice patterns and gain valuable insights into what drives your emotions and actions. Spoiler alert: It’s you. It’s not the external world—it’s always about what’s happening inside you. So, if you’re feeling angry at someone or generally unhappy, take a moment to ask yourself what role you might be playing in creating and prolonging these emotions.

Tip: Don’t censor yourself. This is your chance to be brutally honest without fear of judgment. This doesn’t mean, however, that you should be unnecessarily cruel and harsh with yourself.

2. Ask for feedback (and actually listen).

We all have blind spots—things about ourselves that we can’t see but are glaringly obvious to others. This is where feedback comes in. Ask friends, family, or colleagues for their honest opinions about your strengths and areas for improvement. And when they give you feedback, resist the urge to defend yourself. Just listen.

Tip: Don’t just ask for feedback from people who will tell you what you want to hear. Seek out those who will give it to you straight, even if it’s hard to hear.

3. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It’s a great way to tune into your internal self-awareness. Spend a few minutes each day practicing mindfulness—whether it’s through meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to your surroundings.

As you’re sitting there, being all present and everything, take a moment to notice the thoughts running through your mind. Are you dwelling on that unfinished task? Reliving an embarrassing mistake from 10 years ago? Chastising yourself for eating an extra piece of pizza or two? Wondering why you’re doing this stupid mindfulness and self-awareness thing? Whatever’s running through your head says a lot about your current state of mind. Pay attention to it—it’s a window into what’s really going on inside.

Tip: If mindfulness feels intimidating or annoying, start small. Even a minute or two of focused breathing can make a difference.

4. Get curious about yourself.

Treat yourself like a fascinating subject to study. Ask yourself questions like, “Why did I react that way?” or “What triggered that emotion?” Instead of just going through the motions, take a moment to explore the “why” behind your actions. This isn’t an excuse to beat yourself up about something you did. It’s to understand why you chose to do it instead of doing something else. Don’t be lazy about it; dig deep to really get at the root of it all.

Tip: Curiosity is your best friend here. Approach your self-discovery with an open mind and a sense of humor—no need to take it too seriously.

5. Set boundaries.

Part of self-awareness is knowing your limits and setting boundaries to protect your well-being. Pay attention to situations where you feel drained, stressed, or resentful, and consider whether you need to set some boundaries.

Tip: Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish or self-absorbed; it’s about taking care of yourself so you can be your best self for others. Sometimes, this might even mean going low or no contact with people who don’t contribute to your well-being. Yes, you can do that. Yes, even if it’s family or the best friend you’ve had since kindergarten.

6. Embrace your flaws.

Spoiler alert: You’re not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Self-awareness isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about embracing who you are, flaws and all. Recognize your strengths, but also acknowledge your weaknesses without beating yourself up.

Tip: Stop focusing so much on your flaws. Either do something to improve them or let them go.

Self-awareness isn’t a one-and-done deal. It’s a lifelong journey of exploration, growth, and understanding. You might be thinking, “What?! I’ll be doing this for the rest of my life? What the heck is the point then?” Keep in mind that life is constantly changing. Your roles will change, your relationships will change, and your circumstances will change. And with self-awareness, you can adapt to these changes better.

Insightfully yours,

Queen D