When you hear “toxic relationship,” your mind probably jumps straight to romantic drama. But the truth is, toxicity can slip into any relationship—whether it’s with friends, family, coworkers, or even acquaintances. It’s not about love or affection; it’s about power plays, manipulation, and behavior that leaves you feeling drained, worthless, or on constant alert. It could be a parent who always cuts you down, a colleague who steals your ideas, or a friend who only hits you up when they need something. Toxicity doesn’t always look like you’d expect—it can show up in some seriously sneaky ways. The first step to taking back control? Recognize the signs.

Here are the top 10 signs that you’re in a toxic relationship:

Toxic sign #1: You are regularly criticized and insulted.

A really obvious red flag, but one that people sometimes still ignore! A toxic person will frequently belittle you and mock your ideas, often in subtle ways that can be easy to overlook at first. They might disguise these put-downs as “jokes,” saying things like, “Can’t you take a joke?” or frame their criticism as being “for your own good.” But their words aren’t constructive—they’re designed to undermine your confidence and make you feel like crap.

And here’s the worst part: when you call out toxic people on their behavior, they’ll often flip the script and accuse you of being “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” It’s a classic move to shut you down, making you question your own feelings. “Maybe I am overreacting,” you might start to wonder. But here’s the truth—you’re not. You’re being disrespected. Don’t let them gaslight you into thinking your feelings aren’t valid.

Toxic sign #2: Your boundaries are not respected.

A toxic person will ignore or dismiss your boundaries, whether emotional, physical, or mental. For example:

  • Walking into your room or office without knocking.
  • Looking through your drawers, bag, or phone and saying that it’s their right to do so.
  • Borrowing your stuff without asking.
  • Pushing you to share information that you’re not comfortable discussing.
  • Demanding your attention even though you’ve repeatedly told them you’re busy or want space.

Toxic sign #3: You’re putting a lot more effort into the relationship than they are.

You’re always the one calling, organzing get-togethers, giving them a hand, or picking them up when they’re down—while they rarely, if ever, have your back. It’s a one-sided dynamic where they happily take but conveniently ghost you when you need something in return. They might only reach out when they want a favor or support, but when the roles are reversed, they’re suddenly too busy or unavailable—or say that they don’t want to get sucked into YOUR drama (What?!). Over time, this imbalance can leave you feeling used, unappreciated, and questioning whether the relationship is worth maintaining. Hint: It’s not.

Toxic sign #4: They guilt-trip, manipulate, or gaslight you.

A toxic person’s MO is to use sneaky, dishonest, and dirty ways to get their way (surprise, surprise). Or they will make you feel like you’re responsible for their happiness, failures, and even their toxic behavior. For example, they might:

  • Withhold things from you (e.g., sex, information, help).
  • Say things like, “If you loved me, you would do it.” “After all I’ve done for you!” “You don’t turn your back on family” (even though you turned your back on them specifically because of their mistreatment of you).
  • Act like a victim and blame you for their problems. Or make you the reason why they did something nasty to you. “If you hadn’t ignored my texts, I wouldn’t have yelled at you.”
  • Deny they said or did something or minimize it. “I never yelled at you. You’re exaggerating.”
  • Imply you’re the one who has issues. “You’re the only one who has a problem with me. Everyone else likes me. You should get therapy.”

Toxic sign #5: You feel terrible after interacting with them.

Hanging out with toxic people is like eating a food you’re allergic to: the after-effects are terrible.

You’re not feeling loved or supported—you’re feeling drained, numb, anxious, or straight-up pissed off. Maybe you’re replaying conversations, wondering if you’re the problem, if you overreacted, if you’re just imagining things. Over time, you start second-guessing yourself, brushing off their hurtful words or actions like they weren’t that bad.

This is how toxic relationships mess with your head. They chip away at your confidence, twist your reality, and keep you stuck in a cycle of doubt and confusion. And the worst part? You don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late.

Toxic sign #6: You feel you have to walk on eggshells around them.

With a toxic person, you’ll often find yourself carefully double-checking what you say or do to avoid triggering their anger, disappointment, or unpredictable mood swings. You may go out of your way to keep the peace, even if it means sacrificing your own comfort or preferences. Maybe you change the way you dress because they’ve criticized your style, cancel plans with friends to avoid conflict, or always cook their favorite meals—even when you’re exhausted or craving something else.

Over time, these compromises add up, leaving you feeling like you’re losing your sense of self—your very identity—just to maintain harmony in the relationship.

Toxic sign #7: They’re jealous or possessive.

Love and care turn into control, jealousy, and possessiveness. And before you know it, they’re telling you what to wear, where you can go, who you can talk to, even how you spend your own money. This isn’t love—it’s power.

They’ll make you feel guilty for seeing friends or family, twist your loyalty, and act like your independence is some kind of betrayal. Even your job or hobbies become a threat to them. Little by little, they cut you off from the people and things that make you you—until you’re isolated and questioning how you got here.

Toxic sign #8: They undermine you.

They minimize your achievements, make you question your abilities, or compare your accomplishments, salary, or appearance unfavorably to others. For instance, they might say, “That’s not such a big deal—anyone could have done it.” “Well, your friend makes more money than you, so maybe you’re not as successful as you think.” Or “John’s wife lost the baby weight within a month of giving birth. Why can’t you do it?” These comments are designed to chip away at your confidence and make you feel inferior, often leaving you doubting your worth—and that’s exactly what a toxic person wants you to be: weak, so that they can take advantage of you.

They chip away at your authority, whether it’s with your employees, your kids, or anyone who looks to you for leadership or guidance. Maybe it’s subtle—questioning your decisions in front of others with a smug, “Are you sure that’s the best way?” but never offering real solutions. Or maybe it’s blatant—telling your kids, “Don’t listen to your parents. Eat whatever you want.” Either way, the result is the same: they undermine you, making it harder for others to respect you.

Toxic sign #9: You feel you can’t trust them to be honest or to act in your best interest.

Your relationship is a minefield of lies and broken promises. They swear they’ll change—then do the same thing again. They promise to follow through—then “forget.” Over and over, they build up your hope just to tear it down. It’s not just frustrating—it’s destabilizing. You never know what’s real, what’s manipulation, or if you can trust a single word they say.

Toxic sign #10: They try to stifle your growth and independence.

A toxic person will actively discourage your ambitions or efforts at self-improvement, often disguising their negativity as “helpful advice” or concern. For example, they might say,

  • “Going back to school? At your age? What’s the point?”
  • “Fine, go live your perfect life while I’m stuck here. I guess you don’t need me anymore.”
  • “Oh, so you think you’re better than me because you’re on a diet and exercising? Who are you trying to impress?”

These comments are designed to keep you stuck in a role that serves their needs or inflates their ego, preventing you from growing or becoming more independent. Their aim is to maintain control by limiting your potential.

Toxic relationships can be sneaky. You might not notice the red flags at first, but once you see the patterns, you can’t unsee them. That’s when it’s time to act—set boundaries or walk away.

So, what do you do if you realize you’re stuck in one? Simple: put your well-being first. Lay down clear boundaries and speak up. If they own up to their behavior and actually change, maybe there’s something to salvage. But if the toxicity keeps rolling—manipulation, disrespect, constant mind games—it’s time to go. Relationships should lift you up, not tear you down.