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July 29, 2014 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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I'm a virgin
Question:

Dear counselor,

I'm 43 and I have the ideal job and lots of friends, but the problem is that I'm not married and have no children. I also have never been in a serious relationship. All my friends are married and have children, and I just feel rejected and alone. I always thought Mr. Right would be waiting for me, but he never came. I've been waiting a long time now and the truth is, since I'm still a virgin, the prospect of sex terrifies me. I've never told anyone because I am too ashamed; I feel unwanted and unloved. Recently, I've been feeling really down and my social life has suffered because of it. Please help me to rectify the situation.

How can I make myself attractive to men in order to meet that special someone?

Maud (43 year old woman)

Answer:

Dear Maud,

Please do not feel ashamed of your situation. You should receive a gold medal of honor for maintaining your virginity to the age of 43. Do you realize how many single women cannot lay claim to that? God will certainly honor you for your faithfulness; and I believe that if it is your desire to get married and have a family, God will grant your request if you ask it of Him. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4).

While waiting on the Lord, enjoy your social life with your friends and their families. You should not feel like an outcast because your situation is different. We are all different in some way. Just enjoy the company of your close friends and your desires will eventually be granted.

Lastly, what makes you think that you are not already attractive? I am sure that you are! Being single, no matter what the age, does not mean that men do not find you attractive. The right man just has not come your way yet. As I said before, if this is what you want, pray for it and it will be granted. God bless you!

Tina Reed, MA, LPC

This question was answered by Tina Reed, MA, LPC. Tina is a licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois, and is also certified by the National Resource Center for Family-Centered Practice.

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