Turning down a date
QUESTION:
IzzyI am having problems. This guy asked me out - well really his friends did for me - but I am not into dating guy friends. I mean, on a scale of 1-10 of how much I like him, I would choose 6. The last time I dated a guy friend I ended up not looking at him for two weeks. Should I say yes or no? They keep on asking and I can't keep on saying no. I need to give a reason but what do I say? Please help me.
ANSWER:
Bob Rich, Ph.D.
Izzy, you show remarkable wisdom in not wanting to date guys yet. Trust this judgment.
I have a rule: anybody can ask me anything, as long as I can say yes or no. So, OK, someone has asked you something. You can say yes or no. You can say, "Nothing personal against you, but I am not interested in that stuff." Or repeat what I just wrote: "It's OK for you to ask me, but it's OK for me to say no."
So, you don't need to give a reason. You have a right to run your life the way you want, as long as you act decently and responsibly, and don't hurt anyone else. Have fun, your way. Enjoy being a young girl. And if other girls make different choices, that's OK. They can. You are not a sheep, but a thinking person who makes up her own mind. Be proud of that independence.
Your new grandfather,
Bob
This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.For more information visit: http://anxietyanddepression-help.com