Woe is me!
We all love a good complain now and then. We call up a friend, and let our self-pity flow like the Nile. "Poor me," "why me?","what have I done to deserve this?" are popular themes of these venting sessions. While whining to those who care enough to listen can sometimes be great therapy, it's a good idea to examine your complaining habits to see if they've gone too far. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself:
Are you complaining on a regular basis, or about things that are really not life-changing?
Are you portraying a negative, whiny image to friends, family, co-workers, etc.?
Are you complaining out of a need for pity rather than a true desire to get things off your chest?
Most importantly, is complaining replacing positive steps you can take to actually solve or deal constructively with the problem?
While complaining may provide brief emotional relief, it usually does more damage than good. It feeds a victim attitude that over-rides more positive approaches to life's bumps. So what can you do to curb the urge?
Try writing things in a journal, and making a list of constructive ways to deal with the problem. If you really can't do anything to solve it, think of ways you can alter your perception of the problem.(There are things in life that we just can't change, but if we spend our time bemoaning them we'll never fully enjoy life!)
Listen to your own inner language, and replace negative thoughts with positive ones (ie. "why me?" with "I can get through this.").
If you really have to complain once and awhile, use your sense of humor and you'll probably find yourself feeling a bit better. Yes, there is potential to laugh in almost any situation.
When you catch yourself in the middle of the dirty deed, ask yourself if it's really going to get you anywhere. Someone once said, "Every problem bares a crossroads of being a better person or a bitter person." Make the right decision when you reach those crossroads.
by T.L. Scribe