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November 17, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Mental Health

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Making negative feelings go away


I am sad a lot. Even around my one friend, who makes me laugh frequently and is the loveliest person I could meet, I feel numb. I can smile and laugh and I occasionally laugh so hard I cry but once I've stopped expressing humor everything settles in me and a kind of fog falls on me. Also, anxiety has been a huge issue for me, and I have no doubt that the feelings I experience when in social situations are connected to social anxiety. I did a test here on Queendom and I got really poor results for my social capabilities. I've been experiencing all of this for about two years, but it was all kind of dormant before that. My counselor sort of diagnosed me with depression, in regards to how low I was last year, but the feelings haven't gone away.

Is this normal? Am I depressed?

Anonymous, 20-year-old woman


My dear,

Yes, you are experiencing depression. But that is only a label. Anxiety and depression very often go together, so you are not alone. Other people have beaten these monsters, myself included, and so can you.

Please read my article where I describe 7 first aid measures that will improve your life. You might also want to read my little e-book on how to deal with anxiety. The first chapter is here. The tools I set out there are also useful in dealing with depression.

The way to conquer social anxiety is to defy it. The best way is to find a supportive situation in which you can spread your wings and gain confidence. The very best is Toastmasters. Most people who join Toastmasters have social anxiety to start with, but within a year, they become self-confident and strong, able to face an audience, and through that, other social situations. My attitude to things is to try them out. Please try these three, and when youíve given them a chance, you are welcome to email me and let me know how they have benefited you.

Here is to a good future for you,


This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.

For more information visit the site or contact information page on QueenDom.

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