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September 25, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Love

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Leaving cheating husband


I am 41 and I have been married for 17 years, but we’ve been together for 23. We have 2 kids together, aged 11 and 18. My husband has another daughter from a previous marriage, aged 15.

My husband just recently told me he doesn't love me and he has not for some time. I repulse him. I found out he was carrying on a deep emotional and sexual affair with his daughter’s mother, who was a part of his cheating 14 years ago. They talk on the phone for hours every night while he is at work. He texts her non-stop. It seems he is obsessed but in the text they say they love each other. They also made fun of me in the text and talked about him leaving me.

When he is home he acts kind. He bought us new phones with a 2-year contract, and makes comments about stuff in the future. Then some days he hardly talks. This past weekend he left the house to go have sex with her and today he bought us the same gifts.

I feel like I need to move on and file for divorce, but what is with his behavior? When he came home from hooking up with her he was overly talkative, bought me a new piece for my phone and even today he’s overly friendly. Is it love they have? Should I move on and protect my kids? Why is his behavior so erratic? Is it true does he really not love me anymore? This connection with her will never die because of their daughter. Should I cut my losses?

Sandra, 41-year-old woman


Dear Sandra,

I think you know the answer, and only asked this question as a way of getting things clear in your mind.

You are unhappy in this situation. He is unhappy, and trying to buy his way out of his feelings of guilt. I am sure your two kids are badly affected by the tensions, and see through his double-dealing.

Get rid of him. Wish the other woman good luck - she'll need it. Make sure you end things in a way that doesn’t make you suffer financially, and that your children are looked after.

Have a good life,


This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.

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