Dear Cheryl,

First, thank you for caring. Your love, decency and caring shine through.

Anger and misbehavior are frequent ways for children, particularly boys, to express grief. So, his behavior is "normal." I can also understand it. No doubt he feels betrayed and abandoned by his father. Kids also often feel guilt when a loved person commits suicide.

I suggest you, or another suitable person, talk to the principal of the kids' school, who may be able to arrange sessions with an educational/developmental psychologist.

I am not sure how medical services are organized where you live. In Australia, the kids could be taken to their family doctor, who would refer them to a child psychologist under Medicare. Check out your local situation. Regular sessions with a professional like that will make an enormous difference for both kids. In turn, if his behavior improves, their mother may be more capable of being there for them.

I don't understand why the death of the father has left the family homeless. There are guaranteed to be both government and charitable services that should be able to help. A phone call to the local Council may be a good first step.

Please tell both kids that they have a new grandfather in me, and that I am sending them all my love from Australia. They are welcome to contact me.

With love,

Bob