My friends believe that I am anorexic. I do not eat lunch or breakfast, and I only eat dinner when I have to because my parents are home. I am told that I am thin and underweight, but I still would like to lose 10 more pounds. I enjoy the feeling of being hungry, and the thought that I could end up in the hospital or dead does not scare me.
When I was confronted at school by my counselor and gym teacher I became angry and blew up at them. They called my parents who became worried, but I convinced them that everything was fine. Ever since then, I refuse to eat in school partially because I want to lose weight, and partially because I am extremely stubborn and do not want to give in to the teachers/counselors. In my mind the situation has become a game. If I eat lunch then I give in to the teachers, and therefore lose the game. I refuse to let them win; I do not want them to feel that they gained anything by calling my parents.
My friends have become extremely angry with me because I refuse to eat. Unfortunately, I consider this another "game", but I am losing this game. I already have one friend who told me that she did not want to be around me until I started eating. She told her mother and someone else about my thoughts on eating. She refuses to tell me who she told. I am fearful of what is going to happen to me. If they call my parents it will be a disappointment. I see eating as a failure.
Do I have Anorexia Nervosa? Are my friends right, and should I get help?
Yes, your friends are right. You do have Anorexia Nervosa, and it is really important that you get help as fast as you can. You are fortunate to have friends who care about you, have noticed what is wrong, and are trying to help you.
You are losing the game in more than just the way that you mentioned. Anorexia Nervosa is not your friend. Right now, Anorexia Nervosa has control over you and is running your life, rather than you running your life and making decisions for yourself.
The disease that you have is not one that you can fight on your own. You need help with it, now. Please talk to an adult you feel comfortable with: a teacher, school counselor, relative, a friend's parent. Ask for help in talking with your parents, if you don't feel that you can do it by yourself.
Deep in your heart, I think you already knew your friends were right. Why else would you take the time to look for help here?
This question has been answered by Susan Maroto. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker working out of Mount Laurel, New Jersey. She uses an eclectic approach to holistic healing, mind-body relationships, life transitions, depression, and anxiety.
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