Finding myself


Finding myself


your avatar   Aspasia (27 year-old man) from Athens, Greece

I have come close enough to myself. In my opinion, since man has borne, he has to find himself and discover the inner power that he has inside him. This must be his destiny. The spirit of man is extremely powerful. There is no God. You are the God. BUT, the social system does not let you find yourself. It is trying to keep you busy for not thinking. I have a great problem with that. I see that I can't have the time for having experiences so as to learn about myself. I feel prisoner if I have to go to work every day for many hours and seeing my life to be spent just to survive. I am thirsty about thoughts, problems, experiences that make your mind think and learn. I also have problems as far as concern about my talents and my natural tendencies. I know that you cannot help me on this and only I know the answer.

Can man develop his self under this social system? Is there any way for finding out easier what profession is best for me? Is love the key for finding out yourself? How can I abandon my selfishness forever? Is best for people not having selfishness at all? Thanks for your time and sorry for my bad English.


    Andy Bernay-Roman,

Dear Aspasia,

Wow. You are a deep thinker. Good for you. You are not just accepting your lot, but are questioning the deeper levels of meaning and purpose in life. I'm impressed. I encourage you to keep up your quest, and find like-minded people to connect with. Check with meditation groups or churches to find further guidance and support for yourself.

I agree: if you aren't doing your life's work, then work cuts into your day. So until you find the work you love to do, take full advantage of your time off. The edge is there for you to not waste a minute. Your questions are pressing, and important.

In order to find the work you love, maybe some sort of psychological testing, or "interest inventory" test might help you. Look for a guidance counselor in your area, perhaps in a local university, because that is a service often provided to students. In fact, you sound like a student in your desire to learn, question, and discover. Have you thought of going back to school somehow?

I commend you for your dissatisfaction with an aimless life. That's healthy. Turn that unhappiness around by taking some direct action to find the kind of involvement you want. That's not selfish of you, by the way. It's you going for what you truly want. I think you need some encouragement, guidance, and support. Keep reaching out for it, and it will find you.

Good luck!


Andy Bernay-Roman

This question was answered by Andy Bernay-Roman, RN, MS, LMHC, NCC, LMT. He is a nationally certified counselor in private psychotherapy practice in South Florida working with individuals, couples, and families with a deep-feeling therapy approach. Andy's medical background as an ICU nurse contributes to his success with clients with difficult medical diagnoses and/or chronic physical conditions. He also serves as head of the Psychological Support Department of West Palm Beach's Hippocrates Health Institute.For more information visit:


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