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October 22, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Can't climax through intercourse


I'm quite worried. I'm a 26 year old man, and with all my sexual partners, I have never been able to ejaculate during intercourse. I have a good time, and can maintain a full erection for hours. However, in order to ejaculate, my partners have to masturbate me until I climax. I have masturbated myself for many years and was wondering if this was the reason.

It's starting to affect my relationships, so I would like to be able to do something about it. Thank you.

Does my body only react to this one kind of stimulation, or could it be psychological?

Niall (26 year-old man)


It is not likely that there is a psychological reason for your inability to ejaculate with the stimulation of vaginal intercourse. My guess is that you were right in wondering if a history of masturbation has conditioned you to only respond to the firm grip of your own hand. It is certainly a different kind of stimulation than the feeling experienced inside of a well lubricated vagina.

If a man has masturbated frequently, it is even more likely to interfere with climaxing during intercourse. My suggestion is to stop masturbating if you have a steady sexual partner. I know that is a tough "prescription", but you need to allow yourself to regain sensitivity and you need to become so aroused that you would ejaculate if a breeze blew through the window.

I would also suggest that you use positions that give you the tightest feeling. Approaching from behind ("doggie style") is often effective, especially if the woman puts her head down on the bed after entry has been made and rotates her hips up. This pushes her pubic bone against the underside of the man's erection.

Typically, if frequent masturbation has been the problem, it takes several weeks for everything to begin working, so be patient.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., Sexologist & Adult Sexuality Educator Author of Male Sexual Endurance: A Man's Book About Lasting Longer

http://oralcaress.com and http://sex-and-aging.info

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

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