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February 19, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Question:

I am a virgin, with limited sexual experience.

I have never given or received oral sex, I am uncomfortable with my body, but I would be willing to try it. I wanted to know if the partner would notice any inexperience. Would there be a difference in pleasure?

Luv, 18-year-old woman

Answer:

In giving oral sex, the most important thing you can do is enjoy giving it. If it is fun for you it will be fun for your partner. Men can tell if it is simply a mechanical act that the woman hopes to cut short. Be playful with your tongue and lips, do not suck too hard and do not blow. Use your hands to pleasure your partner, as well as your mouth. Don't worry about doing a "deep throat" maneuver and don't worry about your partner ejaculating in your mouth. Tell him to give you fair warning. Dealing with a man's ejaculate should not be included in your early adventures into fellatio... there is plenty of time to figure out what you will be comfortable with.

In receiving oral sex, the most important thing when beginning in the receiver role is to focus on the pleasure and not on what the man is doing. Focus on how it feels. Later you can add more graphic thoughts or images, but start just experiencing what it feels like. Don't worry about how you taste or smell... if you are aroused, you will be fine. If your body wants to move, let it move. If your partner is not focusing on your clitoris, give him some gentle directions.

In learning it might be best to take turns, and don't worry about confessing your inexperience. Men will love the thought of being the first and will leap at the chance to be your teacher. However, always remember that you are the expert on your body... so give feedback so that you can experience the best that oral sex has to offer.

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

For more information visit the site or contact information page on QueenDom.

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