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October 21, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Faking it


I have been going out with this guy for 5 months now and we've had sex quite a few times. Sometimes, I feel he tries really hard to make it as pleasurable for me as it is for him, but I, on the other hand, realize and don't mind that he reaches orgasm every time and I don't. I'm happy if he is happy. But I can see that he gets really disappointed if I don't reach orgasm and feels like "he has failed me". I hate it when he feels like that, but I wouldn't feel right faking it if it didn't actually happen!

Is it wise to fake an orgasm just to please your partner?

Lola (17 year-old woman)


I do not believe that it is ever a good idea for a woman to fake orgasm. If she fakes it, the guy will assume he is doing a great job and will never get any better. If she fakes it, it becomes very hard to tell him later that you have not been making it. It is better to be honest and to talk about what works and what does not work... and it is also very important for guys to understand that some women do not make it every time. Just let him know when you think you can orgasm and educate him on what he should do, but also tell him when you know you can't and then enjoy his.

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

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