Gift of orgasm


Gift of orgasm


your avatar   "KuntreGal," 22-year-old woman

I have had many sex partners but none have given me an orgasm. My husband of two years has not either; it really makes me frustrated after sex. Can you give any advice for me or my partner to help me orgasm?


    Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist

First of all, I want to state that men do not "give" women orgasms! Women have orgasms and, with a man, that man can help, but a man cannot "give" something to a woman that is already hers. It is important for a woman to learn as much as she can about her own body and the best way to do this is with self-exploration and masturbation. Once she knows how she approaches her orgasm, and what works best to get there, she can then teach her partner how he can help.

It is important for men and women to understand that for the majority of women, intercourse is a very ineffective way to try to reach orgasm. Direct clitoral stimulation is generally required and this is best give manually or orally (or with a vibrator). It is possible to include clitoral stimulation in penile-vaginal intercourse, but often a conscious effort must be made to get into a position where that is possible.

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit:


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