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November 21, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Visit to the OB/GYN


I have been married for 28 years, and my wife has seen her ob/gyn doctor for regular checkups the whole time. He is a male practitioner, and I believe he is a professional. However, I have some concerns over her seeing a male doctor. This is a very small town, and there are no female doctors available. My concern is not jealousy I don't believe. I know that they are not having sex, or anything like that. My concern is that one or both of them may just enjoy the experience.

I'm a 50 year old male, but still don't know exactly what takes place during her exam, as it's become a topic that I have learned not to bring up. She will tell me nothing, which just gets my curiosity up even more. Before it became an arguing point, she's told me, 'Well he's a doctor, that's his job, he sees female patients all day long', etc, so I've already gotten that answer, and it's not good enough. Is there any sexual turn on, from either the doctor, or the patient during one of these exams?

Traveler (50 year-old man)


There are occasional male physicians who abuse female patients, but they are usually found out quickly and lose their license, especially in a small town. Just because you might be curious about the bodies of different women does not mean that a male physician would have the same reaction. Why would you ever imagine that there is anything sexual in a pelvic or breast exam? Most women do not look forward to these exams!

The issue here is not what happens during a medical exam, but your ability to trust your wife. It might help for the two of you to see a marriage counselor to figure out why you do not believe that your wife!

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

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