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October 22, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Getting in the way


I enjoy a wonderful sex life with my 27 year old husband but he cannot maintain his erection with a condom... he experiences instant shrinkage. Is this a medical condition? Is there a way around this?

Mags (38 year-old woman) from NY


I suppose we could jokingly call this a "fear of safety," but it's not a laughing matter. Since many men lose feeling through a condom, they will have difficulty ejaculating or might even lose an erection. Try putting a little safe water-soluble lubrication (like K-Y or better yet, Astroglide) inside the condom so that he feels warm and slippery sensations as he thrusts. Just be sure the condom does not slip off before he ejaculates!

This is certainly not a medical problem... just the age of complaint that wearing a condom is like trying to feel the texture of silk with a glove on.

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

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