Sex questions


Sex questions


your avatar   kris, 18-year-old woman

Hi. I would like to know exactly how to masturbate. I have masturbated before and got an orgasm but I'd like to know some other ways because it seems so hard to get an orgasm out of it. Also, I would like to know how to give oral sex to a guy. What are the best ways for them to reach orgasm? What's good to put in my mouth while giving oral sex (e.g ice).


    Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist

As a male, I cannot tell you first hand how to masturbate, but I have talked with hundreds of women about self-stimulation. Books have been written on the topic, so whatever I write will be incomplete (and filtered through a male mind).

First off let's acknowledge that for most women, the clitoris is the most sensitive part of her genitals. Thus, the vast majority of women who masturbate to orgasm do it by stimulating this small, but exquisitely sensitive, organ. They stimulate it by rubbing it with their fingers (up and down, in circles, or side to side), by holding a vibrator on it (battery or electric), but getting it under a bathtub faucet or under a shower massager, or by "humping" a pillow also work.

A small number of women can reach orgasm by simply squeezing their legs together or putting muscular tension in their pelvic region in other ways, and a small number can orgasm just with nipple stimulation. An even smaller number can actually orgasm with fantasy alone ("thinking off").

So, what is to learn from all of this? Perhaps the most effective pathway to orgasm is with clitoral stimulation, adding some tension in legs and pelvis, while caressing a nipple and thinking sexual thoughts.

The best way to perform fellatio? Simple... do what feels good to you (your mouth is one of your erogenous areas), use both mouth and hands, and be enthusiastic!

What's the best way for a male to orgasm with oral sex? The reality is that some will ejaculate with just about anything and others will never make it no matter how good the woman is.

What's the best thing to have in your mouth during fellatio? Your tongue!

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit:


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