Dating questions

Dating questions


your avatar   Lindsay, 19-year-old woman

I am a 19-year-old who is very confused about her sexuality. I am attracted to men, but whenever one of them shows any interest in me or we become intimate, I notice all these flaws about them and it's simply unbearable for me to be around them. I almost get a feeling of embarrassment, and I end up pushing them away. This is why I haven't had a boyfriend in a very long time. This continuous pattern of behavior has led me to wonder if I am a lesbian, but that doesn't really make sense, seeing as how I am not attracted to women. I do want a boyfriend and I do see myself settling down with a man in the future, but I'm just so picky and have impossibly high standards that I don't see how any man is going to fit into that mold.

Why am I doing these things? Am I a lesbian?


    Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist

I cannot answer why you are being so critical of men, but I can tell you that this is not because you are a lesbian. If you are not attracted emotionally or sexually to women, you are straight. You are still young...maybe the right guy has not come your way yet. Be patient. There is an old saying: "You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a prince."

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit:

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