Dating questions

Dating questions


your avatar   Lindsay, 19 year old woman

I am a nineteen-year-old who is very confused about her sexuality. I am attracted to men, but whenever one of them shows any interest in me or we become intimate, I notice all these flaws about them and it's simply unbearable for me to be around them. I almost get a feeling of embarrassment, and I end up pushing them away. This is why I haven't had a boyfriend in a very long time. This continuous pattern of behavior has led me to wonder if I am a lesbian, but that doesen't really make sense, seeing as how I am not attracted to women. I do want a boyfriend and I do see myself settling down with a man in the future, but I'm just so picky and have impossibly high standards that I don't see how any man is going to fit into that mold.

Why am i doing these things? Am I a lesbian?


    Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist

I cannot answer why you are being so critical of men, but I can tell you that this is not because you are a lesbian. If you are not attracted emotionally or sexually to women, you are straight. You are still young . . . maybe the right guy has not come your way yet. Be patient . . . there is an old saying: "You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a prince."

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit:

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"Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength."
Sigmund Freud
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