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November 19, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Lack of Enjoyment


Well I have a boyfriend and he is the only guy I've had sex with. We've been together for a year now and as far as I know, he has not had sex with other girls - he says I am special. We even plan to marry one day but there is a problem. I do love him and he does turn me on when he kisses my neck and everything, but whenever we have sex I never enyoy it.

The last time we had sex I did feel something but I still want more. I want to feel it more so I can enjoy it. What should I do?

Elizabeth, 17 year old woman


The statement, "Whenever we have sex" implies a reference to intercourse, and you go on to say that your lover "turns you on". So, you are becoming aroused but not reaching orgasm.

The majority of women never do reach orgasm during intercourse, primarily because there is not enough clitoral stimulation. The solution to the present problem is to have your lover discover other ways to bring you to orgasm, manual or oral, and after you have had an orgasm, then you can have intercourse for his. Most women remain receptive after an orgasm and enjoy the intimacy of intercourse. Most men lose motivation after their orgasm, and that is why I recommend that you get yours first.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

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