Arousal but no pleasure

Arousal but no pleasure


your avatar   Alexi, 18-year-old woman

I'm an 18-year-old female and I love and have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We started having sex about 7 months ago. We have it frequently enough, sometimes with foreplay, and sometimes without.

I'm always really excited and turned on when sex is initiated, but once it comes down to actually doing it, I feel no pleasure at all. I even fake it. The only pleasure I get occurs when my clitoris is stimulated. He does turn me on very much and I do want to have sex, so I don't think that's the problem.

Why is it that I don't feel any pleasure during sex even though I get really turned on and excited?


    Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist

The majority of women are not orgasmic during intercourse. There just is not enough clitoral stimulation. In order to orgasm you probably need direct clitoral stimualtion (manual or oral). Intercourse works great for guys, but not always for gals.

My suggestion: get off first with his oral or manual stimulation of your clitoris, then have intercourse for his orgasm. Even though you came, intercourse will still feel good and you will enjoy him enjoying you without having to worry about when and how to fake your orgasm.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit:

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