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November 12, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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New Lover, New Feelings


I'm 22 and I've had 2 sexual partners but I've also had other experiences with approximately 10 people. I had been in a relationship for 3.5 years - that came to an end approximately 2 months ago. The sex was uninspiring and predictable.

I've recently started seeing someone new after a long and sexually stagnant relationship. The first time he went down on me he used both his hands and oral techniques. I reached orgasm and it was the most intense sexual experience of my life. I felt the usual clitoral orgasm feeling but it was extremely heightened and for the first time ever I think I had a vaginal orgasm. In addition to this my lower abdomen went completely rock hard and felt so sensitive. It felt like when he kissed my stomach I might orgasm again. Is this normal and/or common?

Kate, 22-year-old woman


First of all, cunnilingus is a very effective way to bring a woman to orgasm if the one performing the act knows how to do it. Yes, a combination of direct licking of the clitoris and hands all over (preferably with one or two fingers in the vagina stimulating the G Spot) can be spectacular.

Sexologists no longer talk of clitoral vs. vaginal orgasms. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. It can be produced in different ways and can be felt in different ways, but it is still basically the same orgasm . . . strong contractions of the muscles between the legs with waves of pleasure sweeping throughout the body.

I'm not sure what to think about the rock hard lower abdomen, other than the fact that most women do automatically tighten muscles in their abdomen, pelvis, and legs as they approach orgasm. This is usually not described in the way it is described here.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

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