No pleasure during sex


No pleasure during sex


your avatar   Cutie, 21-year-old woman

I'm 21 and have been having sex since I was 17. Since then I have had a total of 7 different partners. Each time I had sex I never felt anything. In fact, I didn't feel anything when I lost my virginity. I fake everything. I know it's not right but I do it.

I have read different things saying that it could be that I have a hormone imbalance. Could I have this, even if I'm only 21? I also read about doing exercises with my vagina. I did that and it didn't work. What is wrong with me? What should I do to feel the pleasure of sex? Please help me if you can!


    Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist

It would be a good idea, regardless of age, to have a complete gynecological exam, including a comprehensive evaluation of your blood, including hormone levels.

Many women discover their sexual feeling through masturbation, but I suspect this has already been tried. I would highly recommend buying and using a powerful electric vibrator. Remember, your focus should be on your clitoris.

One thing that was not clear in your question was the level of desire felt. In what is called the "sexual response cycle", the first step is desire. This is Libido. This is feeling horny. This is the motivational part of the cycle. The next step is the arousal . . . getting turned on, getting wet, feeling excited. Then, if the stimulation is right, the orgasm comes, or the climax.

When the statement is, "I feel no pleasure", I wonder about desire. Is there desire to feel pleasure? Is there desire but your genitals feel numb, i.e. no pleasure when touched "down there"? I also wonder where the touch is. If there is vagina stimulation but no clitoral stimulation, then arousal might not occur. Does the lack of pleasure refer to the pleasure of orgasm? If everything feels good but there is no orgasm, this is a different kind of problem than not feeling anything at all.

When anyone, man or woman, consults a professional about a sexual concern, it is important to be specific about the problem or problems.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit:


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