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February 20, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Too Quick

Question:

I am a 19-year-old lesbian and have been with my current girlfriend for over a year now. I have never had sex with anyone else, male or female, but my girlfriend and I have been very sexually active for most of the relationship, and I love her very much. Recently, I have been coming very fast during both oral sex and masturbation - sometimes in as little as a minute! The orgasms are also very "small". The muscles start to spasm and my girlfriend says she can feel the contractions on her chin. However, the spasms are small and feel like they're on the outside of my body and are not accompanied by a feeling of pleasure. I never get "sex-overs" anymore either. Once it's over my heart is beating at its normal rate and I can immediately get up and do something else.

My question is, is there something medically or psychologically wrong with me? I want to have longer, more pleasurable sex, and I want to have more intense orgasms. There is a lot of information on the web about woman who never orgasm, but very little about woman who oragam too quick and/or too weak! I'm obviously among the minority, and I need information!

Cede, 19-year-old woman

Answer:

First of all, the issue of too quick. I would suggest that your current girlfriend not focus too quickly or exclusively on your clitoris. She should approach it and then back off...sort of a stop-start approach. You have a lot of sensitivity in your vulva and even on your perineum ...lots of area to lick without staying right on your clitoris. This "stair-stepping" can also build to a more intense orgasm, once it is allowed to happen.

One other thing, if you two have not discovered it. While licking all around the vulva, insert one or two fingers, turn the palm up, and stimulate the G Spot along with the cunnilingus. This also has been know to increase intensity.

In your internet searches you have no doubt read about the Kegel exercises. Do those exercises religiously! Those tone up the pelvic floor muscles that contract during orgasm. Good luck.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

For more information visit the site or contact information page on QueenDom.

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