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February 19, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Sexpertise

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Is this a disorder?

Question:

I've been with my partner for 3 years now; we've had very good and very bad times. For some time now I've been feeling lonely and neglected (we don't live together and see each other very little because of school and work). I've been having a really hard time lubricating lately and when we have intercourse it almost always hurts when we begin - I feel like he's tearing the inside of my vagina and then after it burns. I don't lubricate while masturbating either. I've tried using lubricants but they don't work very well and don't make me enjoy sex as much as when it is my own.

Though I often have strong sexual desires, when my partner finally comes over most of those desires vanish. Also, I used to love foreplay but now I don't enjoy it most of the time. I don't know if it's because my tastes have changed or because he's not touching me like he used to. I've tried showing him how I like it but I just don't like the way he touches me anymore. I'd like to regain the sex life I once had. Maybe fixing our sex life would help ease some of my anguish. I don't know what stops me from lubricating and would like to know if this is normal or caused by a disorder of some sort. Thank you.

LZ, 18-year-old woman

Answer:

Usually the amount of lubrication a young woman experiences is an indication of how aroused she is feeling. If this fellow is not turning you on, your problem is him.

However, if you feel really turned on and still are not lubricating, consult your gynecologist. It could be your reaction to birth control pills or could be the result of a hormone imbalance.

Get help to assist in figuring out how much of this is physical and how much of it is the relationship. You can't begin to fix it until you know exactly what it is.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.

For more information visit the site or contact information page on QueenDom.

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