Bullying victim with suicidal thoughts
QUESTION:
"Shadow Ninja"My dad tried to strangle me when I was ten because he and mum had a fight that almost ended in divorce. Since then my parents take all their problems out on me by emotionally abusing and sometimes physically abusing me.
I got bullied at my old school. People wanted to bash me, wrote threatening notes, and told me to kill myself. My parents forced me to go to another school that I hate - so now I have no friends at my new school as no one wants to know me. I feel suicidal and often cry myself to sleep. I've started skipping class at school because I've been too upset to go. I've told my parents that I want to kill myself and they took it as a joke. They threatened to kick me out.
How can I stop these suicidal thoughts? How can I get my parents to believe/trust me?
ANSWER:
Bob Rich, Ph.D.
My dear,
That's a terrible situation to be in. I am glad you are fighting back. If you were to kill yourself, you would make the bullies in your old school win. By staying alive and building a GREAT life for yourself, you can prove everyone wrong about you.
A wise man once said, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." Think of your life until now as training.
Do you know how a diamond is formed? A lump of coal is in soil that is compressed and heated by volcanic forces. It turns into the hardest jewel known. Do you think the lump of coal likes this? You can go along one of two paths in response to all the heat and pressure. You can burn up, or you can become a diamond. You CAN become the diamond.
The way to defeat your parents' attitude is to reject their way of looking at you. Instead, see yourself as what you really are: someone special, a piece of God temporarily in a human body in order to do work. That work is to grow into an adult who will be a loving, competent, caring mother. You can go to school with a new attitude: to learn so well that you can enter a profession that allows you to be there for others who have been mistreated. This could be a psychologist like me, a medical doctor, a police officer, a lawyer, teacher, social worker, etc.
School is a resource for you. It is a key to being able to make a difference, for yourself and others. It is a tool for achieving a future for yourself with self-respect, a good income, and above all, with the potential to make the world a better place.
When I was your age, I also was terribly depressed. I found that two things helped: vigorous exercise (I was a distance runner), and study. When I was reading a book, or studying math, history, physics or whatever, I could forget about myself and just be involved in the material. When I was running, I had a holiday from my hell and could be in a zone of inner peace.
When you can change the way you see yourself and the world in the way I have described, you will find that other kids will want to be friends with you. We all send out an energy. At the moment yours is "I hate myself, so don't bother with me." If you decide to be the diamond, the energy you send out will be "I am going places! Respect me!"
Bob
This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.For more information visit: http://anxietyanddepression-help.com