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May 21, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Relationships

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No More Intimacy

Question:

My husband and I have been together 34 years. I am 50 years old and very attractive to other men. My husband has no interest in me it seems. We have no intimacy and I have asked him numerous times if it's over and the answer is always no - he wants me and loves me. So why can't we have an intimate personal relationship? I feel like I am living with a good friend. He is a very young 60.

Beauty, 50-year-old woman

Answer:

My dear,

The question is, does he get sexually turned on by other women? If not, the most probable reason is that he is simply "over" that part of life. Many people, both men and women, lose interest in sex as they get older. Others don't.

He may have a sexual dysfunction. That is, he may be unable to have a proper erection and he is ashamed. I suggest you take his statement that he still loves you to be true. Do not put sexual demands on him. Instead, go for closeness and other types of physical intimacy. For example, you can give each other full body massages. There are many other ways one person can give another physical pleasure. Experiment and do them. You can have a lot of fun with each other without penetrative sex.

Bob

This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.

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