Queendom.com - the land of tests tests quizzes polls advice articles blog
My ProfileMy Profile


    Forgot Password?...

  New? Register here...
  My Profile tour...
spacer
Editor Pick

Analytical Reasoning Test

This analytical aptitude test assesses inductive and deductive reasoning skills. Verbal and quantitative reasoning skills are important in business decision making and IT ...
take this test...
spacer
Related Tests
Tests
Social Anxiety Test
Type A Personality Test
PMS Test
Depression Test
Depression Test - Abridged

Articles show
spacer
Quick Poll
Do you listen to your intuition or gut instinct?
All the time

Most of the time

Sometimes

Rarely

Never



spacer
May 20, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Mental Health

submit your question

Borderline Personality Disorder

Question:

I become very violent and always accuse my wife of sleeping with other men. I don't care who is in the room when I act violent. I go on with my anger and even threaten my own life if I don't get my own way. I continue to have these episodes and I cannot stand it a second longer.

I need a cure for Borderline Personality Disorder. Is there a doctor that knows how to cure this malicious virus? It is destroying my family and me. Please someone help.

Carlos, 33-year-old man

Answer:

Hi Carlos,

First, this behavior pattern doesn't necessarily mean that you have BPD. Have you had this diagnosis formally inflicted on you? If so, there are several evidence-based therapeutic programs that work. The best established are "Dialectical Behavior Therapy" and an adaptation of "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy."

Let us just look at the problem you have outlined, which I'd call Jealous Rage. You do realize, if anything is going to have her leave you, it's the jealousy. She may be perfectly faithful, never, ever cheat on you, but will sooner or later have enough of your tantrums. So, if you want to keep her, then treat her with respect and gentleness, HOWEVER YOU FEEL INSIDE. Here is something I give to clients with an anger problem:

Handling Anger

You didn't ask to feel angry. It happened. You are not responsible for BEING angry, but for how you respond to it. You are what you DO, not what you feel. Learn to take half a second before responding. You then have at least 6 choices:

  • Yes, in this situation I should throw a tantrum.
  • Not worth bothering, I'll just walk away.
  • Handle it assertively (you can look up what that means).
  • Take time out. Calm down, think out how I should respond, then return and deal with the issue.
  • Humor (not AT other people). Turn the issue aside with a joke.
  • Vigorous exercise. Let it out through chopping wood, pummeling a punching bag or big pillow, go for a run.

Anger is often the result of faulty thinking. Start by respecting both yourself and other people. If you can afford it, get a few sessions of therapy from a psychologist. Now that you have decided to change…you can.

Bob

This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.

For more information visit the site or contact information page on QueenDom.

follow
share
GoodTherapy.org Therapist Directory