Turning down a date

Turning down a date

QUESTION:

your avatar   Izzy

I am having problems. This guy asked me out - well really his friends did for me - but I am not into dating guy friends. I mean, on a scale of 1-10 of how much I like him, I would choose 6. The last time I dated a guy friend I ended up not looking at him for two weeks. Should I say yes or no? They keep on asking and I can't keep on saying no. I need to give a reason but what do I say? Please help me.

ANSWER:

    Bob Rich, Ph.D.

Izzy, you show remarkable wisdom in not wanting to date guys yet. Trust this judgment.

I have a rule: anybody can ask me anything, as long as I can say yes or no. So, OK, someone has asked you something. You can say yes or no. You can say, "Nothing personal against you, but I am not interested in that stuff." Or repeat what I just wrote: "It's OK for you to ask me, but it's OK for me to say no."

So, you don't need to give a reason. You have a right to run your life the way you want, as long as you act decently and responsibly, and don't hurt anyone else. Have fun, your way. Enjoy being a young girl. And if other girls make different choices, that's OK. They can. You are not a sheep, but a thinking person who makes up her own mind. Be proud of that independence.

Your new grandfather,

Bob

This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.For more information visit: http://anxietyanddepression-help.com

Refuse to be a victim. Take responsibility for your life.
"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."
Desmond Tutu
Remember, what's considered perfect or beautiful is highly subjective.
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