Queendom.com - the land of tests tests quizzes polls advice articles blog
My ProfileMy Profile


    Forgot Password?...

  New? Register here...
  My Profile tour...
spacer
Editor Pick

Analytical Reasoning Test

This analytical aptitude test assesses inductive and deductive reasoning skills. Verbal and quantitative reasoning skills are important in business decision making and IT ...
take this test...
spacer
Related Tests
Tests
Social Anxiety Test
Type A Personality Test
PMS Test
Eating Disorders and Emotional Eating Test
Sleep Hygiene Test

Articles show
spacer
Quick Poll
Do you listen to your intuition or gut instinct?
All the time

Most of the time

Sometimes

Rarely

Never



spacer
November 18, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Hard Knocks

submit your question

Is it my past or my personality?

Question:

I faced trauma at a young age and come from a family with depression.

I try really hard to love people but I'm not able to feel anything. I only feel a strong bond with my grandmother. It's really hard for me to let people in or trust anyone. I was used and abused from a young age and I feel I am traumatized from that. Could my past be the reason why I am the way I am or is this just my personality? I care about and worry about only myself. Am I just selfish? Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you.

Bambina, 28-year-old woman

Answer:

Bambina my dear,

This feeling of not being able to feel anything is a result of trauma in infancy. I have the same thing. For much of my life, I could only feel sadness or anger. My solution was to study other people, and act like them in certain situations. I don't "feel" joy or love in the way I know other people can, but I am able to DO joy and love.

This means that my friends and loved ones FEEL that I love them. I am able to affect them the way they affect each other. I've been called passionate, and there is a lot of powerful emotion in my writing, and when I give public speeches. It's all genuine - but it's all in the head; intellectual, not from the guts.

Therapy can help. I am now able to feel something like a black and white silent movie of emotions, compared to others' technicolor dramas. But it doesn't matter. What matters is what we do, whether we act to benefit and support others, or to be selfish or cruel. I've lived a good life, and been of service to a great many people, despite my "handicap," or perhaps even because of it. You can do the same.

However, the effects of sexual abuse (if that's what you were referring to) are something else. Find a therapist to work with. Enter "sexual abuse help" in a search engine referring to your state; I got several promising links. Help is out there, and probably free.

Have good life. You can.

Bob

This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich. Dr. Rich has 30+ years of experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Rich is also a writer and a "mudsmith". Bob is now retired from psychological practice, but still works with people as a counselor.

For more information visit the site or contact information page on QueenDom.

follow
share
GoodTherapy.org Therapist Directory