I am 16 years old and I am currently a junior in high school. I have always wanted to be a mom but recently, I have been thinking about getting pregnant because I want to be a better mom then my mom will ever be to me. If I get pregnant I donít want to tell my dad because all he will do is judge me and I donít want that. What should I do? I am still going to go to school but I am home-schooled so it works out even more. Should I tell my dad?
Ally my dear,
You have decided that you would like to have a baby. Once the idea occurred to you, it kept growing, and taking over your thinking, until you felt you had completely decided, and all you needed to do is to get it past your dad.
Before you do anything about it, it is important to think it through. If you have a baby now, you will be responsible for the life of another person. If afterward you decide it was a mistake, you can't undo it. So, the time to do the thinking is now. There is a way of doing it. Since this is an irreversible, very important decision, I suggest you take WEEKS over it.
First, write down a list of all the good things about having a baby. Second, write down a list of all the problems about having a baby at 16-17. Include all the things you have been telling yourself on the good list, and think of more. Imagine the reasons why your dad will disapprove, and put them on the problems list, and then think of more.
Do some research in two ways. First, talk to young women who have a baby already, and ask them to help you to put items on both lists. Second, go on the internet, and do a search using a wide range of search terms. For example, "How many hours a week does it take to look after a baby?" "How much money does it take to care for a child from birth to 18?"
At the end of doing this research really seriously, you will have an answer. I am not going to tell you what I think it will be, but I have a pretty good guess. Then, email me and we can talk it over.
Have a good life, my dear,