Dating a criminal and depressed

My fiance (Nick) and I have been together since July of last year. Things moved very fast from the start. (I should probably mention that prior to this I had a boyfriend, Richard, who was long distance as well). What attracted me to Nick was his lifestyle. He was a party animal. He was also very wanted by the authorities for minor drug-related offenses. A month after I met him he was notified by the police in another state that they knew where he was and that a warrant was issued for his arrest. It turned out not to be as big of a deal as he made it. He told me that he was on the run and he asked me to go with him. He was aware of my relationship with Richard, but he swore his undying love to me and begged me not to leave him.

Even though my family disliked him we left for California and lived there for three months. We couldn't afford a place to live because I was the only one working and my job only paid $6.25/hr. Nick was depressed and refused to get a job. I also found out at this time that he had lied to me about the death of his mother just a couple of weeks before. I knew he had a problem with lying, but I thought I could help him (he never told me why he lied about his mother). Since California, we haven't stayed anywhere for more than six months. Now we are living with his mother, who is feeling better after her bout with death. Nick also has a terrifying temper. He has hit me a couple of times by "accident". He kind of reminds me of a child with a temper tantrum sometimes. My self-esteem has gone way down since meeting him.

Here's my question: Lately, I've been feeling depressed. Its almost like there's something missing from my life. Even though Richard hasn't spoken to me since June, I can't get him out of my heart or my mind. It's not that I believe that Richard and I will ever get back together, it's just that I'm realizing that he had qualities that I like in a man which Nick lacks (won't clean, showers irregularly, still won't find a job, etc.). And he has qualities that I do not like. While he claims I can leave at any time, it doesn't seem that way to me. This is annoying me to the point of wanting to find someone else or just give up on men and become a lesbian. I find it difficult to talk to him because he just won't listen to me. How should I handle this?