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February 22, 2018 - Welcome Guest!

Advice » Mental Health

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Curse of Comfort

Question:

I am a young, good, and lucky person but I have let myself drown. My luxuries and safeties allow me to waste my potential; I haven't achieved anything in years, and I seek the path of least resistance. My spoiled persona and lack of initiative are by far my worst enemy. I stand in eternal quicksand and have trouble falling asleep because I am so un-used and so un-exhausted.

How can I defeat my own laziness, get out in the world and start achieving things? How can I entice myself to deal with piled up responsibilities, to assert myself socially, to realize my potential?

Blue, 24-year-old woman

Answer:

I am going to assume your description is accurate and that you are not clinically depressed or have some other mental/emotional issue you are dealing with. Very simply and very basically, if you want a different result in your life you need to begin to do things differently. Rather than taking the path of least resistance, determine that you are going to stretch yourself in different and new directions.

You create your own meaning in life. If your life lacks a sense of direction and fulfillment, you can begin to give it direction and meaning by defining what life means for you. If you believed life was meaningful, what would you be doing with it? What career would you pursue? Who would you hang out with? What would your hobbies be? Write everything down and then live it. Essentially, live your life in a way that enriches and enhances you as well as the lives of those around you. Don't wait for something to inspire you or to motivate you. Don't wait for your self-esteem to be enhanced. Rather, do something that you love…anything and that breeds more excitement and joie de vivre in you.

Let me give you a simple example. My wife is an artist. She has a terrible time getting started on a new project. She'll complain and mope, but then she'll finally get the paints out, sets up a canvas and begin to work. Within an hour she won't have time to eat, talk and do anything else because she is painting. In the same way, you need to begin to take action in your life rather than waiting for life to happen to you.

Sometimes, in order to get us started we need a helping hand - someone we can be accountable to. You may want to find a personal coach who can help you figure out where you are in life and enable you to find your direction. With some personal coaches, you'll need to go back every couple weeks or so for a session to describe what you have learned, what you have done and the direction you are taking.

Thomas H Schear

This question was answered by Thomas H Schear. Dr. Schear has over 20 years experience as a front line counselor, clinical supervisor, program director and college instructor. Currently he provides online and telephone counseling service as well as home-study and online course for the helping professional from his website.

For more information visit the site or contact information page on QueenDom.

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