Is three a crowd?


Is three a crowd?


your avatar   cmftblynmb (43 year-old man) from Pennsylvania

I am healthy male, and I've never had a problem with getting or maintaining an erection.

That was until I had my first threesome with my wife and her best friend (female). I love seeing two women have sex but when it came to my turn I couldn't get an erection. It may have been a once in a lifetime opportunity. Do I need help?


    Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist

I am sure that there would be those who would say that you need help not with your penis, but with your marriage. However, I believe consenting adults can make decisions about what they want to do with their own bodies and with whom they wish to do it. So, no moralizing here. My guess is that you were just feeling too much pressure to perform and, unfortunately, when a man begins to fear that he will fail, he usually does!

My guess is that if the three of you have been together since your inquiry, you have discovered that you really can respond. Focusing on what is happening around you and not on your own response is the key. With a healthy male, his penis will generally take care of itself without the mental monitoring... in fact, he can get his head in the way.

One reminder however: Anytime you bring another person into a relationship, you run the risk of jeopardizing that relationship and of increasing the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Bob Birch

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit:


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