Jealous and turned-on
QUESTION:
Green (41 year-old woman)I get extremely turned on by watching my man masturbate it drives me crazy. Especially if I get him to talk about what he might do with another women. But if he were to do it behind my back, I would flip. As much as I realize that I am being ridiculous, I can't stop. I am getting so obsessed with this. Every time I go out I think that is what he is up to. I am getting so disgusted with him. I do know that it isn't right but I don't know where this is coming from. Please help. Thanks.
ANSWER:
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist
Sometimes that which excites us the most about our partner's sexuality is also what is the most threatening! You want your partner to be hot, to fantasize about other women and to take responsibility then for getting himself off... but your also want a guarantee that something that is his (his right to fantasize and masturbate) belongs only to you. You said it is "ridiculous," but the word I would use is "destructive." Before this totally damages your relationship, go with your man to talk to a counselor. You will be miserable if you don't do something about this preoccupation and you are likely to make the guy's life miserable as well. Get some help with this!
Bob Birch
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit: http://www.oralcaress.com/