Can't tell Mom I'm pregnant


Can't tell Mom I'm pregnant


your avatar   Young woman (16)

I am 16 years old and I am in 11th grade at a high school in Erie, Pennsylvania. I dated a guy for about 2 years previous to the night we had sex and now he isn't in my life anymore. I found out about 1 month ago that I am pregnant. He left me before I could tell him. He knows exactly what is going on and I know he is going to be here for the child but I am really scared to tell my mom. I am so afraid that she will hate me or she will throw me out of the house. I don't have a father and there is only one other person I could live with but I don't think that will work because I am trying to save all my money for this child.

I need your help. How do I tell my mom???


    Tina Reed, MA, LPC

First of all, I am glad you realize that you do have to tell your mom. Being pregnant at your age is not an easy thing to deal with. And you are going to need all of her love and support to get through this. Your mom will not be too pleased at first; but I am sure she would not want you to keep this a secret. You are her daughter and she needs to know when you're in trouble. Telling parents of our mistakes is always hard; but we still must face up to them, including the consequences that follow. After the initial shock of the news, the majority of parents are very supportive. Decisions need to be made about your future and the child's future; and mom's help and support will be needed. You will also need proper nutrition and medical care; and mom can see to it that these needs are adequately met. About a year ago, one of my young client's was faced with the same situation. I offered to have the girl tell mom in my presence. And I was able to help them work out any differences immediately. Since I cannot do that with you, may I suggest asking a trusted friend or another relative to be with you when you face your mom...even a neighbor could accompany you. It is always a little less threatening when someone, besides the primary caregiver, is there with you because outsiders are not as quick to "fly off the handle" upon hearing such news. If it were their own child, the story might be different; but not with someone else's child. This person would be able to help mom compose herself if she did become overly upset; and there is a strong chance she may not get as upset in the presence of someone else besides you. When you talk to your mom, be sure to start by saying that you know you have made a mistake; but now need her help and support. You are sorry and you will take extra care not to repeat your mistake in the future. Good luck to you!!

This question was answered by Tina Reed, MA, LPC. Tina is a licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois, and is also certified by the National Resource Center for Family-Centered Practice.For more information visit:

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