Holiday parties are supposed to be fun. The twinkling lights. Familiar faces. Ugly sweaters. Turkey.

And yet, every year you’ve got to deal with at least one person who turns “festive gathering” into whatever the opposite of festive is…*checks thesaurus* apathetic, miserable, troubled, and ho-ho-horrible.

It’s not that these people are bad (okay, some are). It’s that their personalities come out extra hard during the holidays. Stress, expectations, alcohol, and family history are a powerful cocktail.

Here are the most common party-derailing personality types—and how to survive each one without flipping the table or fake-texting yourself an emergency.

1. The One-Up-Itis

“Oh, you got promoted? I just got the biggest raise the company has every offered to anyone.”

You got a new car? They got two. You’re tired? They haven’t slept in years. Every story becomes a competition they insist on winning.

Why they do this: This is often insecurity hidden behind fake confidence (or arrogance). The holidays amplify comparison, and some people cope by trying to stay on top.

How to survive:

  • Don’t escalate. Short acknowledgments (“Wow, that sounds like a lot”) stop the loop.
  • Change the subject, preferably to something neutral (weather, pets, cars).
  • Remind yourself this isn’t about you. It never was.

2. The Oversharer

“We’re all family here, right?”

They’re telling deeply personal stories while people are still taking their coats off. You now know things you absolutely did not need or want to know.

Why they do this: Stress + alcohol + a craving for connection can lower filters fast. For some people, the holidays feel emotionally loaded, and it all comes out.

How to survive:

  • Redirect gently: “That sounds intense. By the way, did you make those cookies? They look delicious!”
  • Position yourself near food, games, or other distractions.
  • If all else fails, refill your drink and relocate.

3. The Grump

“I hate everything about this.”

They don’t like the music. The food is meh. The vibe is off. And they want you to know.

Why they do this: Grumpiness is often a stress response. The pressure to be cheerful can backfire hard.

How to survive:

  • Don’t try to fix their mood. It’s not your job.
  • Limit engagement. Neutral responses reduce emotional drain.
  • Protect your own energy and enjoy what you can.

4. The Invasive Question Person

“So, what’s new with you?”

They ask about your relationship status, when you’re going to have kids, career choices, finances—usually within five minutes of arrival. And somehow act surprised when things get awkward.

Why they do this: Some people confuse closeness with entitlement; they think they have a right to pry into your life because “we’re family” and “I care.” Others use questions to fill the silence because they’re uncomfortable with socializing in general. Or simply because they feel they have a right to share their opinion of you (“You should be doing X by now”).

How to survive:

  • Use vague, closed answers: “Things are good” or “That’s in progress.”
  • Redirect immediately: “Enough about me—what’s new with you?”
  • Remember: you are not obligated to explain your life to anyone just because they asked.

5. The Politics Person

“I tell you what’s wrong with our country today…”

They bring up politics, social issues, or hot-button topics like it’s a casual icebreaker. They will test the room. They will try to convince you they’re right and you should believe the same things they do. They will make things tense.

Why they do this: For some people, politics is their entire identity. The holidays amplify emotions, and debates can feel validating.

How to survive:

  • Don’t engage unless you genuinely want to. Silence is not agreement.
  • Use a neutral boundary: “I’m taking a break from political talk tonight.”
  • If trapped, change location. Kitchens and pets are excellent escape routes.

Every party has one. Sometimes several. And occasionally…we are the one.

The goal isn’t to psychoanalyze everyone in the room or try to change them. It’s to recognize patterns, manage expectations, and give yourself permission to disengage when needed.

Survive the party. Eat the dessert. Leave when it’s time.

And you know what? You don’t have to spend time with people who drain you if you don’t want to. Celebrate with friends, just your partner, or your pet. You’re allowed to choose what feels good. Make it your Christmas gift to yourself.

Check out the Holiday Personality Test.

Happy Holidays!

Queen D