I gave up on my New Year’s resolutions about six New Years ago. Not because I’m lazy or a procrastinator—or at least not entirely—but because the goal felt like I was carrying a sumo wrestler up Mount Everest, backwards, in 5-inch stilettos. Meaning, it was overwhelming.

That’s the problem with New Year’s resolutions though. We think too big. Some of us start off well, like how the gym parking lot near my house is always so full in January. But by March, things start to thin out. I can understand the drive; going to the gym is kind of easier when you’re paying a lot of money to go, but I’d much rather put that investment towards my own equipment, which is how I ended up with a rowing machine in my living room. But I digress.

As I discussed in a previous blog, we make resolutions from the perspective of who we want to be, not who we are right now. If you’re not a “walk 10,000 steps person” or “eat only veggies and tofu person” (which I recently discovered I am not) it’s going to be really difficult to become that person. What you can become is a “walk up the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator person.” Or an “eat a big plate of veggies before my main meal person.” It’s a little change with a lot of impact, and it’s a lot more doable.

So aside from smaller, achievable goals, here’s what else I recommend: picking one annoying thing in your life and making it moderately less annoying. Not life-changing. Not identity-altering. Just less irritating than it is right now.

Here are some examples.

Do a “Top 5 Annoyances” Audit

This is not a “reflect deeply on your life” situation. This is a what quietly drives me nuts exercise.

Think about the things that regularly make you sigh, mutter under your breath, or say “ugh.” The kind of annoyances that aren’t tragic, but also aren’t nothing.

For example:

  • The app that sends you notifications you never asked for and never read
  • The task you avoid not because it’s hard, but because it’s annoying
  • The cluttered spot in your home that irritates you every single time you walk by it
  • The recurring obligation that somehow takes more mental energy than it deserves

Write down five. Not twenty. Not everything wrong with your life. Just five things that regularly annoy you. Even two or three is fine. I’d even be happy with one.

If one of them immediately jumps out, congratulations—you’ve found your starting point.

Fix the Easiest One First

This is important. Because this is where people tend to overcomplicate things.

They look at their list and think they should start with the most meaningful annoyance, or the one that would result in the most dramatic, “look at me growing” change. But that’s how you end up in the gym parking lot in January, pushing yourself to go in and do at least half an hour on the treadmill.

Instead, fix the easiest thing on the list.

The one that:

  • Takes the least time
  • Requires the least emotional energy
  • Has been annoying you simply because you haven’t dealt with it yet

Maybe it’s unsubscribing from a handful of emails. Maybe it’s finally setting a reminder so you stop forgetting the same thing every week. Maybe it’s replacing the broken thing you’ve been tolerating, like that charger that has more tape around it than someone with a broken leg.

This isn’t about “discipline.” It’s about momentum. Small fixes work because they make daily life noticeably better, which is far more motivating than any grand resolution ever will be.

Do a 10-Minute, Anti-Annoyance Weekly Routine

Once a week, spend ten minutes doing basic, anti-annoyance maintenance. During those ten minutes, do things like:

  • Prep one thing Future You will be glad you did, like buying lightbulbs when the bathroom light starts flickering, not after it has burned out. Or doing the dishes before they start piling up.
  • Stop, cancel, or delete one unnecessary thing. Like your subscription to a streaming service you’re bored with, that get-together you’re not looking forward to, that app you keep doom-scrolling, your ex’s phone number.
  • Do one “two-minute task” you keep stepping over, like taking out the recycling that’s been hovering by the door, putting away the laundry that’s been living on the chair (you know the chair), or throwing out those flyers you’re not actually going to flip through.

Think of it less like “optimizing your life” and more like wiping crumbs off the table so they don’t keep sticking to your elbow.

Why This Works When Big Resolutions Don’t

This approach works because it’s grounded in reality. It doesn’t require motivation, discipline, or a dramatic mindset shift. It just asks you to make your life slightly easier than it was last month. And that adds up.

By the end of January, you don’t need a new identity or a perfectly executed plan. If you’ve removed one recurring annoyance and made your days run a little more smoothly, that’s real progress.

Honestly, that’s a much better deal than carrying a metaphorical sumo wrestler up Mount Everest in stilettos.

Insightfully yours,

Queen D