I experience an odd feeling on December 31st at midnight.

The whole world is celebrating the new year as if they’re stepping through a portal into an entirely new reality. People get emotional. People get hopeful. People get confident.

“This is it,” they say. “This is the year where everything will change. Everything will be better.”

Meanwhile, I’m sitting on the couch drinking champagne and thinking:

When did we decide as a society to make January the start of the year? Who signed off on that? Was there a vote? Did I miss the meeting?

And then my brain does what it always does: it starts to “conspiricize” or “conspirate.”

What if time isn’t linear, but circular? What if somewhere in the time-space continuum someone is currently sipping champagne and celebrating the year 1924? What if the calendar is basically a myth we all agreed to pretend is real?

Because why is this day different from any other? It was 2025 six minutes ago.

I can’t fully explain it. It’s like I go down a rabbit hole of what-if scenarios and come out the other side realizing…I don’t feel any different than I did last year.

And I think what fuels my—pessimism? indifference? cynicism? existential crisis?—is this: I’ve had the same resolutions every year, and nothing changes. And I’m not the only one who feels this way.

So what are we doing wrong?

Why Goals and Resolutions Collapse

It’s not because you’re weak or lack willpower. At least not entirely.

Most goals come with a hidden requirement: you must consistently be a high-functioning adult who makes excellent choices.

Goals often assume:

  • you’ll always have time
  • you’ll always have energy
  • you’ll always feel motivated
  • you’ll never get sick, stressed, swamped, or derailed
  • you’ll never face the ancient enemy known as “I don’t feel like it.”

So when real life shows up—because it always does—your plan collapses. Not because you’re lazy. Because the plan was built on a fantasy.

Defaults solve this by planning for reality. Not “new year, new me.” More like: “new year, same me, but with fewer dumb decisions.”

The Default Method: 2–3 Options That Require Near-Zero Effort

The method is simple:

Pick 2–3 defaults for the areas of life where things could definitely be better. Not 12. Not endless resolutions. You’re building a life system that will still work when you’re cranky.

You need defaults for:

  • Meals (because hunger turns you into a cheeseburger-chasing goblin)
  • Workouts (because motivation is unreliable)
  • After tough days (because that’s when discipline dies)

Why 2–3?

  • 1 default gets boring and you rebel
  • 4+ defaults becomes a decision, and decisions are where things go wrong
  • 2–3 defaults gives you variety without creating a whole new mental workload

Now let’s make this practical.

Default Meals: Prevent the Snack Vacuum

When people “fall off the diet wagon” it’s rarely because they made a calculated decision to ruin their lives. It’s usually:

  • they waited too long to eat
  • they got too hungry
  • they got too tired
  • they opened the fridge and their brain went “I’m too drained to think of something to make,” or “everything here tastes like boredom and not like bacon” and then suddenly, they’re eating random ingredients like a raccoon

Defaults stop that.

What a good default meal actually looks like

A good default meal is:

  • fast (15 minutes or less, ideally)
  • satisfying (not a punishing bowl of sadness)
  • made from things you can keep on hand
  • forgiving (still works when you’re low-effort)

Default meal ideas

Pick two or three meal ingredients you genuinely don’t mind repeating:

  • Rotisserie chicken + bagged salad + bread
    Zero cooking.
  • Eggs + frozen veggies + rice
    Fast, filling, and requires almost no creativity.
  • Any protein + frozen veg + stir-fry sauce
    Toss, mix, forget about it.
  • Greek yogurt + fruit + nuts
    Not glamorous, but reliable.
  • Giant batch of soup/chili in a slow cooker
    One effort, multiple days of eating payoffs.
  • Tuna/salmon + crackers + sliced veg
    The “I refuse to cook but I will survive” meal.

Default Workouts: Stop Pretending You’ll Become Dwayne Johnson in 3 Weeks

Most workout plans fail because they’re built on an all-or-nothing mindset.

“If I can’t do the full workout, it doesn’t count.”

That’s how you end up doing nothing for two weeks and then trying to resurrect your motivation with a punishing comeback workout that makes you hate your life.

Instead, you want a system that keeps movement alive even when things are messy.

Create three effort levels:

  • Default A (full workout): 30–45 minutes
  • Default B (medium): 15–20 minutes
  • Default C (minimum): 5–10 minutes

Because “minimum” is not failure. Minimum is continuity. Minimum is what keeps the habit from ending up at the back of the closet like those jeans that no longer fit you but you refuse to let go of.

Workout examples:

  • Default A: treadmill, rower, elliptical, longer run, workout class
  • Default B: brisk walk + short weightlifting circuit
  • Default C: a few squats + walk around the block

Is Default C going to transform your body in a week? No.

Is it going to keep you from disappearing into “I don’t work out anymore” territory? Yes.

Default After-Work or Bad Day Routine

After work is where good intentions die. You’re tired, you’re hungry, and your brain is exhausted. You’ve been pretending all day that you’re happy to be at work when you’re actually miserable (also known as “cognitive dissonance.”).

So you sit down “for a second,” and suddenly it’s 8:07 p.m., and you’ve scrolled through 184 Instagram vids and your dinner plan is beef jerky and pop tarts.

This is where a default routine helps most, because you don’t need inspiration, just a script.

Build a default “after-work sequence”

Pick a 10–20 minute sequence you do when you get home. Not a full evening routine with candles and the sounds of Tibetan singing bowls in the background. A decompression sequence is a small transition that stops you from faceplanting into your couch.

Here’s a simple one:

  1. change clothes (signals “phase change”)
  2. 5 minutes of movement (walk, stretch, anything)
  3. start dinner or set up food
  4. then you can scroll, relax, and just exist

This works because it protects you from the “sit down and never recover” trap.

“If X, Then Y” Scripts: Decision-Making Without Drama

These are pre-decisions. Because when you’re tired, your brain will either struggle to make a choice or try to bargain for an easier one:

  • “I deserve a treat. Where’s the takeout menu I swore to never open again?”
  • “I’ll start my workout tomorrow.”
  • “One late night won’t matter.”
  • “I’m too busy for this.”
  • “I’ll relax on the weekend.”

Instead, write the script in advance. For example:

  • If I’m too tired to cook, then I will make Default Meal #1.
  • If I miss a workout, then I will do Default C the next day.
  • If I want to order takeout, then I will wait 20 minutes and eat something healthy first.
  • If I start doomscrolling after work, then my phone goes on a charger in another room for 30 minutes.
  • If I feel overwhelmed, then I do one small relaxing reset (dishes, shower, 10-minute tidy—something that creates relief fast).

Remove One Friction Point

Defaults fail when they’re annoying to start. So your final move is simple: remove one friction point so the “good option” becomes easier than the “bad option.”

Pick ONE friction point this week. Here are easy targets:

  • Put your workout clothes where you can’t ignore them
  • Pre-load your coffee, smoothie, or protein shake
  • Delete takeout apps
  • Put the better snacks at eye level and hide the bad ones in the back of your pantry
  • Keep a saved grocery list called “Default Foods”
  • Create a small “emergency dinner shelf” with your default ingredients

Your environment is either helping you or sabotaging you.

January doesn’t need big, grand goals. It needs better defaults.

Most people don’t fail because they lack motivation. They fail because their plan only works on perfect days. But the days that matter most are the ordinary ones:

  • tired days
  • busy days
  • days when your willpower is MIA

So stop building your year around big goals and inspirational intentions. Build it around defaults that work when you’re and not at your best. Because the version of you who needs support most isn’t the eager, bold, semi-drunk version of you on December 31st. It’s the tired Monday version. And that version deserves a plan.

The 15-minute Default Setup You Can Start Today

If you want to do this today, here’s your starter kit:

  1. Choose 2 default meals you can make in 15 minutes
  2. Choose 1 minimum workout you can do in 10 minutes
  3. Choose 1 after-work sequence (5-10 minutes)
  4. Write 2 if-then rules
  5. Remove 1 friction point

That’s it. No turning over an entirely new leaf and pretending. Just a system that holds up when real life shows up.

Insightfully yours,

Queen D