My cousin is generally a mellow, quirky teenager. She watches Japanese anime and recently decided that she wants a t-shirt with Bob Ross’ face. So imagine my surprise when her parents recently confessed that she missed the first three weeks of school because of debilitating anxiety—and I mean hyperventilating, turning-blue-ready-to-pass-out anxiety. When I asked her what triggered it, all she could say was, “There’s something wrong with the [school] building. I don’t feel comfortable in that building.”

Maybe she’s picking up on something. Maybe the building used to be a prison or a burial ground. While that might sound odd, she’s not the only one who has picked up on that weird vibe. Teachers and other students have also indicated that they’ve felt a disconcerting energy in the school.

Recall a fond memory.

Try to remember every aspect of it in detail, from what you were wearing to who was with you, what was said, and how you felt. Relive it in your mind as best you can—and if you don’t remember some parts, improvise. You may find yourself so caught up in the memory that you’ll be completely distracted from what’s happening in the moment. This technique works particularly well with me when my heart-rate goes haywire. By pulling my cognitive awareness away from my panicked heart and pivoting my attention toward something else, it always calms down. 

I used this approach when I was in the emergency room. When the nurse saw how high my blood pressure was, she nearly panicked (which of course, didn’t help me at all). She sent me back to the waiting room and indicated that she would call me in again to check my vitals in an hour. I immediately took the opportunity to apply this technique and within that time span, my blood pressure had dropped significantly.

Use the alphabet game.

I picked this tip up from a self-help guru, and in spite of my skepticism at the simplicity of the exercise, I was pleasantly surprised when it actually worked. Here’s the premise: For each letter of the alphabet, come up with a word that describes how you would feel if you were happy. For example: abundant, boisterous, calm, determined, energetic, etc. After a while, you’ll be so focused on trying to find a word for K, Q, and Y that you may just forget your anxiety.

Tune into the moment.

My mentor always tells me to pay attention to what I am doing in the moment, whether I’m asking him how to be happy or how to reduce my anxiety. Here’s what he means (in my own words): 

Being in the moment is about keeping your attention focused in the present—not thinking about the past or, in the case of anxiety, worrying about a “what if” in the future. When you’re in the present, there is little, if anything, that should concern you.

In order to be in the present, close your eyes and tune into your other senses (cutting out visual stimulation helps). What sounds are you hearing? What scents do you smell? If you’re sitting down, how does the seat feel beneath you? Essentially, immerse yourself in the moment. If a thought or a worry drifts into your mind, return your focus back again to your outer senses.

And of course, no one sums up presence and being present as eloquently and perfectly as the master, Eckhart Tolle:

All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry—all forms of fear—are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence. People don’t realize that now is all there ever is; there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind. 

If none of these tips work, here’s my secret weapon: Do a Google image search of Eckhart Tolle. There’s something incredibly comforting about this man’s face…it’s like he’s saying, “No worries. I got this figured out. It’s going to be okay. Let me give you a hand.”

“Whatever the present moment contains, embrace it as if you had chosen it.”

Eckhart Tolle

Insightfully yours,

Queen D